Uhm, yeah.

I miss you. A lot. We used to be BFFs. We used to be like this *crosses fingers.* Not anymore. Now you hang out with those guys, those guys that all look at me and shuffle uncomfortably in their chairs and then they stare at my unsymmetrical boobs. We never talk anymore. Remember when we saw each other for the first time after summer and we didn't stop talking? I wish we were still like that. What can I say, times change. So, I miss you. I wish we could still be pals. The kind that share each other's secrets. The kind that you think about kissing, and then you decide that that's the unthinkable. And there's those days when you think "Hey, we're going to be friends again," but it never really happens. And then, sometimes, I think I have a crush on you, but then, I realize, I knew you to well in the past for that to happen. And also, you're kinda gross. But I love you anyway. Yeah, I miss you. An unspeakable amount.

The last 3 days, I've slept in the guest room. I don't know why, the mattress is really uncomfortable and the room gets really hot, but I like it. Something about the lack of furniture in there. Something about the air of it all.

I've been quite unhappy lately, but it just hit me today. My happy wagon has been stuck at 5/20 for the past week and a half but it just didn't seem like it until English class. Then I was droopy for the rest of the day. Except when I held Iris' hand and pretended I was leaving Josh for her. Something about that... priceless. I think I know why I'm unhappy, but it just seems so pathetic and junior highish to be true. I mean, I'm a high school student; I should have moved away from 7 & 8th grade-like drama. But I guess not. What can I say?
Is it the fight with my best friend she ceases to know about? I mean, I honestly think it's pretty obvious. She's being such a bitch. Or is that me? Maybe I'm just taking my side, but I don't think it is. Is it a hopeless, loveless, nonexistent romance I fail to believe could be happening to me?
Because, believe it or not loves, I think it's both of those. And I really am experiencing a blast from the past to my summer of 7th grade.
Oh well, that's life?

This was quite a jammed packed post...

Love you, Laura